You’re not foggy because of the sourdough. You’re foggy because you’ve been feeding your brain cardboard dressed in plastic cheese and calling it a meal.
And no, gluten isn’t hiding behind your mental meltdowns like some sneaky boogeyman in a baguette. The real culprit? You’ve been ghosting real food so hard, your neurons are screaming for attention like a clingy ex.
Somewhere along the line, the food industry sold us a fairytale. Low-fat yogurt with more sugar than a donut? “Healthy.” Protein bars with the consistency of a gym sock and 32 ingredients you can’t pronounce? “Fuel.”
Meanwhile, your brain is sitting in the backseat, underfed, overstimulated, and pissed off. Because no matter how organic your gluten-free brownie is—it still ain’t food. It’s a science experiment with branding.
This whole gluten scapegoat circus is a distraction. A convenient excuse. Because it’s easier to toss the bread than to admit we’ve normalized eating fake food with real consequences.
You’re not “sensitive”—you’re starving for something real. Something with fiber, fat, flavor, and the kind of micronutrients that didn’t come from a chemistry set. Your brain doesn’t need trendy—it needs nutrition.
Let’s get something straight. Gluten can be an issue—for a very specific group of people. Celiac is real. Wheat allergy? Also real.
But calling yourself “gluten-intolerant” because you feel like crap after a drive-thru dinner is like blaming gravity when your overpriced detox tea didn’t fix your mood swings. That ain’t gluten. That’s malnourishment wearing a full face of kale.
The brain is a high-maintenance diva. It runs on real, unprocessed, grown-from-the-ground-up food. Strip that away and you’ll feel it—hard. Mood swings, brain fog, low motivation, that existential dread at 3 p.m.? That’s not your zodiac.
That’s your brain asking, “Where the hell are the omega-3s?” When you stop eating food and start eating “products,” your neurotransmitters go on strike.
Modern diets are full of potholes. Ultra-processed snacks pretending to be meals. Sugar dressed up as health food. Coffee replacing breakfast.
And somehow, gluten ends up taking the fall for our self-inflicted nutritional hangovers. Like firing the waiter because the chef burned your steak.
And don’t get it twisted—real food doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t need a PhD in Ayurveda or a spreadsheet of macros. You just need food your grandmother would recognize.
Vegetables that haven’t been dehydrated into a chip. Protein that didn’t come in a wrapper. Fat that doesn’t fear cholesterol like it’s Voldemort. Whole food isn’t a trend. It’s a damn survival mechanism.
“The problem isn’t gluten. The problem is calling Cheetos a snack and wondering why we feel dead inside.”
So the next time someone blames bread for their burnout, hand them an avocado, not a TED Talk. Because we don’t need more food paranoia. We need food that gives—not just to the body—but to the damn soul. Enough with the scapegoats. Enough with the fads.
Feed your brain like it’s the control center of your whole damn life—because it is.
